The Ballad of Hans Gruber

from I'm Just Sayin' by The Pyrate Queen

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lyrics

There once was a man from Germany,
Though his accent was a little bit muddled,
He had an idea that was grandiose,
And would leave his victims befuddled,
“I’ll take over a building in a terrorist way,”
he said to his toe-headed henchman,
“And no one will know we’re just here to rob them,
The air will be filled with such tension.”

He had an affinity for great suits,
And he most definitely wasn’t afraid to shoot,
Oh Hans Gruber, from Nakatomi, stole his last cent,
In a blaze of slow-motion glory he went.

The heist was all going according to plan,
The police had no clue what to do,
After all, Hans recruited the best of the best
for his vault-cracking, gun-toting crew.
But when his men started dying one by one
he still wouldn’t admit to danger.
And some say the reason John McClain won
was Hans’ logic succumbing to anger

The final stand-off was a thing to behold,
As it looked as though Hans had his way,
Though all of his men were dead and gone
There’d be more loot for him anyway.
As McClain strode forward, a smirk on his face,
Hans grabbed John’s dearly beloved.
The force of the gunshot was so strong,
Hans, out of the window, it shoved.

credits

from I'm Just Sayin', released March 4, 2017

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